confession...

im tired..im freaking tired...i wish someday you will appreciate the things that i've done that someday you will proud of me too...im tired of pushing myself to you...to be close with you...i wish you can feel what i feel right now...since i was young...i know and im thankful that u're giving us...me the material things that i need...but the appreciation and love is what i need...is what im dreaming...wishing since then...i reached this age without experiencing the happiness that my other siblings had...im tired MOM...im tired...please sometimes let me feel that im one of ur child...you didn't know how it hurts everytime i saw u with my sisters laughing...chatting..bonding together...u didn't even notice how hard i cried..every night...almost every day..wishing and praying that we can also bond together...

if you notice that im much closer to dadi its just because he's the only person that made me feel special...since i was young he's the only person that loves me very much...he's the one who makes me whole...who makes me feel that i have this what they call family...he's the only person who can stop my tears...who can talk to me sincerely...

im so tired...really really tired...that pushes me to think that its better if i died...maybe if that happens i can watch you graving...and crying for me...or even i can feel that you also love me...

Love the way you lie

yeah sayaw sayaw tayo i love the way it hurts...i love the way you lie...but still i love who you are ...yeah \:D/\:D/....hahahhaa...

this is the part of the song that i like:

Now I know we said things
Did things
That we didn't mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper's just as bad
As mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love
You're just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn't you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though

nyahahhaha...drama amp...hmmfff....

Numb.....Manhid....Careless

numb, manhid, careless
whew!!  these are words that i always heard from my friends, but hindi totoo yan!! grrrrr! ....how can i explain it ba?...hmmm okei simple lang ang sagot ko jan...YOU DONT CARE, nyahahahha charing,..okei seriously i cant's say that im a numb, manhid or careless maybe im just pretending as like that, coz there are some reasons na kailangan ko maging ganyan, hehhehe gulo ko noh....but i know u understand and i love u for that, nyahahahha mwuah....

maybe this reason will help you guys:

one time, i told my self that i’m not in a position to feel this so called “jealousy”. Coz i’m “just” someone “just” someone…( pampalubag loob kumbaga para lang maging manhid ako ). But gosh, why is it so hard to fall in love with someone. And that love has no chance to commit the word “forever” hahaha drama amp…...funny coz does the word “forever” do really exist? I tried myself to ignore what made my mood change. I tried my self not to sob coz of the pain I’m beginning to feel again. I was holding back my tears. My emotions was so reluctant and Im trying to get numb....

hmmmmmm so valid na ba ang reason na toh...hahhahah...maybe isa lang yan sa mga reasons ko....maybe yung iba pag isipan ko muna kung ishare ko huh...hahaha...thank u thank u....bow =))=))

Four Seasons of Loneliness

awtz nakakalungkot nmn, kasi lahat ng nakasulat eh totoo...hayzzzz =(

topakin @_@

tinotopak na naman ako
hindi ko alam kung bakit
hayyzzz ewan ko ba
nagising na lang ako kanina
at sinabing ala ako sa mood :(
wahahhaha topakin talaga
hayzzz wala na ko magagawa
nakadikit na ata sa buhay ko ang salitang "topakin"




pagpasensyahan nyo na lang poh :(
i know madaming nadadamay
kapag tinotopak ako
sori :(
but i cant help it!
sori ulit :(




sana nandito now bbf ko :(
my brother na bestfriend pa
i miss u khuletzkie!!
hayzzz ala kc ako maasar eh
xa lang namn kaya ko asarin =p
tagal kc magkanet
amp n bayantel un
hayyzzz




i aslo miss my bpp :(
bpp means bsepren poreber =))=))
hirap kc xa svhn ang p and f nababaliktad nya :))
hayzzz miss u gummy bear..teddy bear..
papa bear.... bear brand ko =))=))
hayzzz sana andito ka now :(

I love you good bye

hayzzz everytime naririnig ko song na toh nalulungkot ako, sobrang nakarelate kc ako...ung part ng song na gusto ko ung :


Leaving someone when you love someone
Is the hardest thing to do
( hayzzz mahirap tlaga kahit ayaw mo xa iwan wala ka nmn magagawa...)
When you love someone as much as i love you
( ito ang mas masakit ano pa ba magagawa mo kung ang pagmamahal mo ay hindi kayang pntayan ang pagmamahal nya sa iba...)


hayzzz grabe masakit tlga, i thought naka move on na ko but hindi pa pla....its so unfair kc habang siya masaya na ako nmn till now nagdadrama...hahahha...but maybe its time n tlga for me to move on. and to start all over again, sana lang magawa ko, hehehehe

sorry T_T

bakit ganito?...bakit ang sama ng feeling ko?..hindi ko alam kung bkit pero  parang ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko? wala naman ako maisip na dahilan kung bakit ganito na lang...sana lang masabi sakin ang dahilan, hindi iyong muka akong tanga na nagkukunwaring okei lang.... nakakpagod na and unfair kasi.....ako sobrang apektado pero xa parang wala lang....siguro nga masyado ko lang nilapit ang sarili ko sa kanya, masyado ko lang pinaniwala na malapit ako sa kanya, at mahalaga din ako sa kanya....sana maging totoo na lang...hindi namn ako magagalit kung sasabihin mo sakin na ayaw mo sakin....dahil wala ako karapatan n pilitan ang sino man na magustuhan ako....



minsan napapansin ko naman eh, hindi naman ako tanga o bobo para hindi ko mahalata...hindi naman ako namimilit na paniwalaan lahat ang sinasabi ko, pero wag naman sana ipakita sakin at ipamuka na hindi ka talaga naniniwala na parang gumagawa lang ako ng kwento....akala mo ba hindi ko pansin yun...sobrang napapansin ko yun at ang sakit lang, dahil ang akala ko naniniwala ka sa sinasabi ko...ang sakit sakit nun pero hindi mo alam na ganun nararamdaman ko dahil nga ang tingin mo sakin isa lang ako mapag gawa ng kwento....ang sama ng loob ko kasi ako andito pinipilit ang sarili na malapit ako sayo...na tanggap mo kung sino ako...pero hindi pala, sana noon pa lang pinakita mo na yan para hindi na ako umasa pa....sobrang sakit tlga pero wala ako magagawa, tatanggpin ko yan, sana lang kung hindi mo kayang maniwala sa mga sinasabi ko, kahit papaano irespeto mo na lang, hindi iyong may maririnig pa ako na pasaring na hindi ka naniniwala sakin.


sorry kung may nagawa man ako sayo na hindi mo nagustuhan, pero wala naman ako maisip na naging kasalanan ko, ang tanging ksalanan ko lang nmn eh ang maging malapit sayo.



sana lang maging totoo ka...kasi hindi naman ako ganun kakitid para hindi ka mahalata...salamat....